the year that was..

is it possible that something that started so badly might end well..? hmmmnn.. the end does not always justify the means.. or does it..?

my year was not what i truly expected. it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. mostly, unexpected; a little anticipated..

i have been hurt by the people who left, the people who stayed and the people who came. funny. but then again, this year wouldn't be any different from all other years if not for such occurrences.

i cried. i laughed. i gossiped. i lied. i smiled. i cared. i loathed. i loved.

simple to say but truly devastating.

sleepless nights. wet pillows. crazy ideas.

prayerfully hoping that everything will turn out right.

..now, what could be in store for me for 2009..? more tears? more smiles? haha! can't wait to find out!

You said it wasn't. Gonna be like. It was before. Then it happened again. Pushing me back. Out the door. Thought it would be. For real this time. Love me forget. About the signs. So now what do I do. Now, that I know. That we're through.
Wish that I. Could move on. Can't let go. It's too strong. Just like that. And then you're gone. Is this how. You wanted it to be. Everything you had to say. Sent the tears. Right down my face. Now I'm trying to escape. The misery.
Why don't you love me. The way I loved you. It feels so crazy. Cause I dunno. What I did to you. If you're gonna hurt me. Then do it quickly. Cause I'm tired of cryin'. If you don't wanna. Stick around. Then, baby Forget about me.
Too late, sorry. I didn't even. Have the chance. You said you were happy. Baby. I don't understand. Gave you everything. You asked for. And was ready. To give you a lot more. I would've given. The world. Right in the palm. Of your hand.
Wish that I. Could move on. Can't let go. It's too strong. Just like that. And then you're gone. Is this how. You wanted it to be. Everything you had to say. Sent the tears. Right down my face. Now I'm trying to escape. The misery.
Why don't you love me. The way I loved you. It feels so crazy. Cause I dunno. What I did to you. If you're gonna hurt me. Then do it quickly. Cause I'm tired of cryin'. If you don't wanna. Stick around. Then, baby Forget about me.
Boy. My heart was true. And that you can't deny. Don't be a fool. And walk away. From all the liesIt's up to you. Cause heaven knows. I've triedTell me. You're still in love.
Forget about me. I really loved you...

kaya mo ba?
kaya?

..sana
..dapat
..bakit naman hindi?
..simple lang naman un e

sige
ngumiti ka
ngiti
ngiti
ngiti
ngiti!

im going to do this..
just this time..
out of respect and of course love..

eventhough it will kill me.
eventhough it will hurt.

just this time.
just this time.

i need you..




are you there..?

holding on to something not for me

.. is like holding on to something unreal.

hindi porke may ngiti.. may tuwa
hindi porke may tuwa.. may saya..

hindi lahat ng kalungkutan nakikita sa luha..
hindi lahat ng sakit nakikita sa mata..

minsan nakatago ito sa mga ngiti..
minsan nakatago ito sa mga saya

minsan nabubulag tayo sa mga bagay na akala natin ay mas nakakabuti..

di natin alam, nasa harap na pala natin ang natatanging bagay na ating kailangan..

di na kailangang maghanap..

di na kailangang maghirap..

andyan na..

kukunin na lang..

sometimes the only thing you'd ever wanted..
the only thing you've ever dreamed of..
the only thing you thought you'll ever need..





is simply not for you..

is anyone there...?

tired and exhausted..
feels like everything is not falling into place..
my plans for tomorrow were like a mirage in the desert.. out of reach and unreal.

confused and troubled..
questions all over my mind -- questions wihout answers.

lost and puzzled..
hoping for someone to take my hand..
waiting for you to take me back home.