the shoe story

It was gloomy this morning so for unknown reasons, I decided to wear boots to work. And since today is a Thursday, after 6 long months, I decided to attend our YA Care Group. I am usually out by 4pm so I need to wait for 3 and a half hours for the 730pm care group.

So, I decided to loiter around megamall -- have dinner and read a book (Don't waste your Life). When it was about 630pm, I decided to walk around the mall to look for a restroom. Knowing my ever so reliable self, I got lost. I didn't find the elevator to the restroom I was eyeing for, but I found a mendrez shop which, for unknown reasons, too, is having a sale! I saw this cute wedge summer shoes and it was love at first sight (whatever!). So, being my impulsive self, I bought it, not knowing why. Haha!

Then I went to the BreadCom Center for the care group. It was really so nice to see everyone again and I thank God that they are not judgmental of me being absent for so long. I had so much fun and I feel thankful that the Lord brought me to the care group today.

All of a sudden, the "unknown reason" was revealed to me by God. I wore boots this morning and bought a new shoes this afternoon because I will be used by God as a blessing for ate Cris, who is going to Australia for a conference this Sunday. I heard it's winter there and she needs boots for the weather. And there!

The Lord proved to me today that everything really does happen for a reason! Thank you Lord! And may Your Name continuously be glorified in my life!

missing you

I see you everyday.
I talk to you everyday.
But lately you're different.
I don't know you anymore.
You are now like them.
And lately I don't want to show it and I don't want you to know.
But I miss you.

06.24 devotion

today the Lord reminded me that in everything I should always remember that I am nothing without Him. I missed sunday service last sunday and I almost did it again today. Thankfully, my brother is here to discipline me. And yes, the preahing did reminded me that the Lord is my healer and that in everything I should never doubt. The message really did hit me since I feel hollow inside for months now. I feel so distant from the Lord. I feel corrupted by wrong companion. Tonight, as I was reading Philippians, the Lord reminded me once again of my behavior since by tomorrow we will have a new boss. He gave me Phil 2:15 - Do everything without complaining or arguing.

Now I know how I should act everyday. And I know that through this, I can glorify the Lord.

Ten Things To Do When You Feel Like Crap

1. Have a really hot, long shower. Cry if you need to. Sit on the ground. Feel sorry for yourself. Let the steam soak into your skin. Let the hot water wash your face clean. But the moment you turn off that water, you are done feeling sorry for yourself. Make a decision to move on from that sadness.
2. Clean. I know, cleaning is boring and annoying - but how about that feeling you get when you are finished? The smell of the vacuum. That feeling of accomplishment? Who knows, you might even find money along the way. Totally worth it. It’s like starting with a clean slate.
3. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to for a while. If your first choice doesn’t pick up, choose someone else. Ask them all about how their lives are going and tell them about yours. Not only will it take your mind off whatever crappy thing you have been plagued by, but you will laugh with them! Laughing triggers endorphins and endorphins make you happy!
4. Go for a run or a walk. This get’s your endorphins and dopamine going crazy. You will get more energy and more happiness just because the chemicals in your body are running around!
5. Stop and take it all in. Walking in the night? Stop and look at the stars. Breathe in the cold air. Feel alive. 
6. Stop whining. Ever heard the saying “love life and life will love you back”? Or, the idea of the power of attraction? It’s true! If you sit around saying “why me, waaaaa waaaa” then bad things will happen to you. You’re already defeated. If you start saying, “I will be happy, I will accomplish my ambitions, I will find love, I do look amazing, I am a great friend” etc., then not only will you start to believe them but you will be amazed at what amazing things start to happen.
7. Drink tea. This always works. Not a tea fan? Try hot water with a slice of lemon and some agave syrup. 
8. Make a conscious decision to stop holding certain grudges. We all have people we have held grudges on in the past. Let them go. If you feel like you owe this person an apology, don’t be too proud. Send them a sincere facebook apology. Sincerity is in the intent, so even if it’s a 2 sentence apology - as long as you mean it it’s worth it. 
9. Cook some really nice, warm food. Stimulate your taste buds with anything as simple as two minute noodles or as lavish as a three course garlic bread, pasta bake, chocolate mousse triple combo. 
10. Write down a list of goals to achieve for the week. As simple as “buy insect repellent” or as large as “jog for 25 minutes non stop” and tick them off when they’re done. You will feel very accomplished and that alone will help pep up your mood!
This is the kind of moment I avoid - the one where all is quiet and I am all alone. It is during this moment that I think. It is during this moment that I write. It is during this moment that I am overwhelmed with all the insecurities I feel inside.

Today, the Lord made me realize that you, indeed, have a life of your own. And nothing - absolutely nothing will I ever do to make you change your schedule, at least, to want to be here.

The song is playing on repeat and I don't mind. My thoughts are all random and I don't care. This is what I want. This is what I feel. This is me.

I am surrounded by people. Should I be with them? I am afraid I might mimic them. It seems that they are pulling me down. Down the drain. Lord, take hold of my hand. Take me out of the pit.

I thought I'd get to take that leap of faith with you. But it seems you took it with them. 

I have died everyday waiting for you.
Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years.
I'll love you for a thousand more.
will it take a thousand years?
you just ALWAYS have the perfect recipe to break my soul.
nariyan ka pa ba?
di ka na madama.

sayang. di mo makikita. ang mga pangarap ko para sayo.

my 2011 travel

Last year, I promised myself that I will travel. And yes, I did. Too many place, so little time (too bad, budget is quite tight -- travelling could really cost you! haha!)

hmmn.. so here's an account of he places I visited last year. (I'm too lazy to blog that's why it took a year before I could post these things..) I hope I can still remember the events from last year.. well, here it goes..

February : Anawangin - Nagsasa - Capones Island tour
This is a TREAT sponsored event. (So, it is a little cheaper than if you go there by yourselves).
It was really fun since it is my dream to go camping there.
Good thing, Leander and Kray kept me company. Plus this is the first out of town with my sex and the city friends, Jen and Apple. We really had a lot of fun plus a lot of muscle pain!

March : Mt. Pinatubo
And since Mitchy is a fan of trekking, here we are,conquering Mt. Pinatubo.
It was really a very exciting experience since we had to ride a 4x4, cross little rivers and walk for almost 2 hours just to reach the crater -- but mind you, seeing the crater is really worth it! I never imagined a volcano's crater to look like it. It was like a lake -- harmless and silent. But the truth is another story :)

June : Let's go Singapore!
And after my 2009 HK trip, SG naman ang napagtripan namin for 2011. It was a family trip, but my sister, who is in Japan, wasn't able to join us. The nice part was, my father agreed to join us (I still believe he is afraid to ride airplanes that is why he declined the HK trip 2 years ago.. haha!)

September : the Cebu - Bohol Invasion
So September became a barkada getaway -- Ate Ruby, Glenn, Leander, Kray and I ventured to Cebu and Bohol! This is my first domestic travel via plane haha! All day touring Cebu and Bohol really drained our energy but it was really nice visiting all those historical sites! Thanks to our talkative tour guides.. haha!

October : Ay ay Boracay + Baler!
Boracay - this was my first travel with my bestfriend. For unknown reasons, we don't get to travel  by ourselves. Haha! Well, we did everything from ATV, karting, helmet dive to parasailing!! It was my dream to experience parasailing so I was really happy that we did it! (the cost was another story!) We went home broke! LOL! But the trip was really fun except that we forgot to swim in the boracay waters.. LOL! We'll do that next time :p

then we had a "family" outing to Baler. And by "family" I mean, Leo, Mona and I. Haha!
Surfing was always a scary thing for me, but whenever I get comfortable on the surfboard and managed to stand up, I simply can't stop! I went home with a cut from the surfboard's fin and I was really really sun kissed! haha! Good news is, we'll be surfing again this year! yay!

So, 2011 really got me broke from all the travelling I've done. So, I promised myself to minimize travelling this year. Haha! Well, so far, Coron, La Union and CDO are in the line up. Haha! Too much for my New Year's resolution.

Well, I guess the Lord is just really gracious! Thank you Lord, 2011 really is a year of blessing!
i really need to be cautious with my spending.

hmmnn.. kuripot mode muna for the coming months! #lezdudis!

chain of unfortunate events

I don't usually rant here, but I guess it will do me good to post something about my day.

My list of (Un)fortunate Events. (This did came in chronological order)
  1. Woke up 30 minutes later than my alarm -- I guess, I must've uncounciously cancelled the alarm instead of just putting it to snooze.
  2. The tale of the packed lunch -- Well, I forgot to remove the food my mom prepared for me in the freezer, so naturally, my supposed-to-be-lunch is as hard as a rock! (Thank you Science for reminding me of your absolute laws on temperature.) So, I have to literally chop a whole chunk just so it can fit in my container but then at the last minute decided to bring the whole thing - changing containers 3 times wouldn't be that hard if only (a) the plastic isn't that oily; (b) I can find a container big enough for the big chunk of food (c) it's not yet 6:30 in the clock.
  3. It's raining and I have no umbrella. My roomate, who, borrowed my umbrella, destroyed it last weekend. And I think she has no plans of replacing it. Oh well!
  4. My slippers snapped! Yes it did! After 3 years of hard labor, it finally gave in. Thankfully I'm still a couple of meters away from home.
  5. My shoes snapped! While walking to the office, it suddenly snapped! Thankfully, I was still able to walk with them all the way to the building. (so much for a newly bought shoe!)
  6. I left my badge. Pretty self explanatory, I guess. And I don't even know the guard on duty. At least, he was nice enough to issue me a temporary pass in a flash.
  7. Bad news from the team. :( This is a little personal so, I won't write about it here. But hearing this news really saddens me. I guess, part of it is because we cannot do anything.
I guess that's it! And I pray there won't be any additional. Good morning monday to me, indeed.

For the record, I did reach the office at 6:59 :)