for all the times i stood you up
and for all the days i didn't care

for all your tears i didn't bother to wipe
and for all your fears i set aside

this sorry might be 5 years too late
the wounds might have healed.

it took a lot of courage to eat the pride
and a lot of faking, my sadness to hide

i hope it's not yet too late
i know you're all better now

thank you that the friendship still remained
thank you that the you are still the same

back to life

when you left the house that day, i felt broken. confused. not knowing where to go and what to do. i felt like i am the girlfriend who just got dumped -- with nowhere to go. too bad, there wasn't even a relationship to begin with.

i cried. the kind of crying you do when someone died. yes, i felt you died. i felt you are never coming back.

but all is clear now. you are different. we are different.
you have a different life. a life i will never want to live. a lifestyle, i will never want to try.

the Lord is good and He answered my prayers.
and now, slowly, i am picking up the pieces of my once shattered self.
slowly, mending the relationships i once have taken for granted.
thankfully, they are still there. thankfully, it was not yet too late.

and then came the realization -- i was never broken. i just chose the wrong priorities. i just chose you.

and yes. this.

Akala ko walang luluhang tutulo
Akala ko maluwag kong matatanggap

Yun pala nandiyan lang ang kalungkutan
Yun pala kunyari lang ang saya

Hindi man maibabalik ang lahat
Pero ok na rin

Kailangang ko lang matuto na hindi ka parati nandiyan
Kailangan ko lang maintindihan na wala ka na talaga sa buhay ko
Kailangan.

and in one fine morning, in my beautiful future,
i'll break your heart.

happiness is an inside job

what if I say that everytime I see you happy, I am aching inside?
#selfish #notobadvibes

"kapag ba nasaktan ka, may karapatan ka na rin na manakit ng iba?"

well that line definitely made me think. ok. i guess that's how far i will go.

more love. more smile.
:)

sana may isang araw na bumaliktad ang mundo.
yung tipong ikaw ay akin at ako ay iyo.
yung parang lahat ng bituin ay nagsasabing tayo.
at tahimik ang lahat at walang magulo.

sana nga may ganun.
kung saang planeta man yun.
kahit isang araw lang.
kahit isang araw lang.

my heart decided on what my mind refused to accept.
<3>

it's almost my birthday!

well, my birthday is just around the corner.. and there -- i can't think of anything i really want as a gift..

but then, i thought, what would i buy if i have all the money i could spend?

and then it started.. hahaha!

1. this bag. (or any bag that can stand on its own)

2. this kind of sandal. (hmmn.. but i like it lesser formal)

3. this mini "i" thing

4. this car or maybe a license first :p

5. or even a unit here

haha! maybe that's a little too much.. when all i really wanted is

a massage

a movie

dinner with friends

balloons!! (lot's of 'em)

flowers :) -- and yes, i don't like them too many.

and cute cupcakes or maybe an ice cream cake :p

... i guess these will really put a smile on my face..
but then.. i have a trip the day after my birthday so i guess i can only have the dinner with friends thing.

haha! not too bad. not too bad at all.

happy birthday, tina! :D

sweet!

I was streaming PNE songs one day and found this sweet song..

Ted Hannah

Para kang kape, di ka nagpapatulog
Parang kagabi, gising ako hanggang tanghali
Di ko nga man lang alam kung sino ka talaga
Kailan kaya kita makikilala

At pano kung nasulat na sa notebook ng tadhana
Ang kwento ng pagibig tungkol sa ating dalawa
Di kaya sayang naman kung hindi natin susundin
Ang nais na mangyari ng tadhana para sa 'tin
Para 'kong tanga, di ko man lang naisip
Na ang pangarap ay maninitiling panaginip
Kung wala akong gawin upang makamtan ka
Paano ka tatama kung di ka tataya

At pano kung may contest na sinet-up ang tadhana
At ang unang pa-premyo ay ang makasama ka
Di kaya sayang naman kung di ko man lang susubukan
Manalo sa pa-raffle ng tadhana

Hahayaan bang mapunta ka na lamang sa iba
Nakwento ko na yata yan sa ibang kanta

At pano kung hindi ako naakit ng tadhana
E di sana ay hindi ako ang iyong sinisinta
Di kaya sayang naman kung di ko man lang susulitin
Ang alay na babae ng tadhana para sa kin

overthinking kills

if only you'll give it a shot
then maybe he'll all be worth it.

if only you'll stop doubting for a while
then maybe something would've happened.

if only  you'll try and loosen yourself a little
then maybe he might just come up and say "hello"

if only.
then maybe.

but then.
there's a whole different story than this poem.

oo, minsan lang naman.

he said, she said

He:

What happened? To us? To you?
What happened to the once sweet girl I knew?
What happened to the smiles that used to brighten my day?
What happened to the laughter that make my sorrows go away?

What happened? Was that fair?
Why all of a sudden I needed to beg for the care?

What happened? When did it start?
I think I lost you and I'm no longer in your heart.

She:

The sweet girl you once knew
was long gone before you even knew
Too little time, too little care
Are the reasons why she decided not to care.

You say you miss her?
But you actually removed her smile, her laughter

Waiting can kill you inside.
Choosing my happiness -- is it too much to ask?

on parokya high

Last Friday, August 24, me and my friend Joyce went to the Parokya ni Edgar Inuman Sessions Vol 2 album launch. I never thought I'd be going around town just to follow a band. =))

It was a happy and tiring experience -- a lot of lines plus a lot of rain plus no dinner and painful legs -- all for Chito. LOL.

So here's the story: we were there by 430pm to buy the DVDs (a dvd will allow 2 concert pass plus a poster plus a free shirt plus a drink all you can pass) and after struggling through long lines, we were able to make the purchase by 6pm. Then came another line -- the one you need to to get into the activity area. [We were quite pessimistic during this point because we really feel the venue won't be able to fit us and everyone in]. But the Lord is kind enough to let us in :) weeee! We were able to get a goo enough spot around 730. [By the way, there are still alot of people trying to purchase cds/dvds so they can get in].

We are really tired from all the standing and waiting but when the band started their sound check around 830, I completely forgot how tired my feet were. The band is really awesome -- nostalgic at some point, since they were singing their old songs [good thing I still know the lyrics], and the crowd is great! Kamikazee, Gloc-9 and Frank Magalona made it even better.

The concert ended at about 10pm and the authograph signing started 10min after. I was #661 but very willing to wait. haha! Well, at around a quarter before 1, I was able to say hello to Chito <3>I was planning to hug him but then.. I was really so shy (teehee!)

So here's our wedding picture (LOL).
I was really glad to have come over and watch my favorite band play. =))

And here's a picture with Vinci -- who was kind enough to offer me to take a picture. haha! (I was actually planning not to take a picture with him because I thought that he was a snob -- NOT!)

The feeling was so surreal. The timing was perfect.

I needed a shout.

And up until now, =D.

It's been a while since we saw each other face to face.

And I'm sorry but I can't help but stare.

All the memories came back like it was yesterday.

Too bad for me.

And yes, I admit it, you were the one that got away. 

kid's church

It's my 2nd Sunday helping out in the kid's church. It is tiring, yes, but the smiles you see on the kid's faces and the joy you have after each day is beyond compare.

It has always been my dream to be a Sunday school teacher and the Lord gave me a perfect opportunity to be one. I really had a lot of fun during Sunday school and summer Bible school when I was a kid. And I thank my mom for pushing me to attend. I will never forget my very own teachers -- teacher Aisha, teacher Liana and teacher Berns. One day, I want to touch a kids life like they did.

Thank you Lord for this opportunity to touch and be a blessing to the lives of your children. Give me the strength to do this every Sunday. And always keep my heart in check that I only do everything for your glory.

the ;p competition

since the ";p" smiley is the worst and most annoying smiley ever, we decided to compete who gets to do it the best XD

natapos na ang kwento.

sarado na ang libro.

pero bakit pilit sinisilip ang mga pahina ng nakaraan?

umalis na ang mga tao.

sarado na ang pinto.

pero bakit pilit pumapasok, wala namang babalikan?

mahirap itigil ang bagay na nakasanayan na.

mahirap umalis sa mundong kayo mismo ang gumawa.

katulad nga ng sabi sa kanta, "may dulo pala ang langit".

sana sinabi mo.

para nakapaghanda ako.